Dear Phone,

Not sure what’s been happening lately, but it seems I’m not the only one sleeping in.

Look, tomorrow is really important .. so if you could try to do your job in the morning & wake me up sometime between 6 & 8am, that would be great.

Thanks doll face! You’re the best!

____________________________

Dear Coma Chick,

Maybe if you wouldn’t stay up all night toying with me & pushing my buttons I’d have energy left to fucking wake you up.