Still so sick. My flu turned in to pneumonia & somewhere in there my son got the flu to. Been a miserable few weeks. Was in & out of the hospital with my mom and after two days of finally feeling human last week. I had a relapse & now I’m fucking sick again.
I’m beyond miserable & so behind on my work & to do list I could cry. If I had the energy that is. And don’t even get me started freaking out about a sneaking up Christmas that I haven’t even begun to shop for.
Anyways. Was just thinking about you all. Love ya bunches
Homeless for the Holidays
I was sexting & my mom texted me to ask me something & I got all flustered & sent her his text & him hers & now I have to find a new family so I never have to face her again.
Kik?
Sure you can find me there .. but I’m not responsible for what happens.
Kik: shasuga
References
One day I’m gonna apply for a job I don’t want but am way qualified for just so I can put some of you down as references. Expect I’m not gonna put your real names, I’m gonna put your screen names (I don’t call it a handle because that’s fucking gay).
So one day you’ll be at work and get a call ..
“Hello?”
“Hi. Can I speak to Ms. Titsandsass please?”
“This is her.”
“This is so & so from planet douche & we were calling because Sandy put you down as a reference.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I was wondering if you could tell us a little about her?”
“She likes to masturbate with finger puppets.”
“….”
“Anything else?”
And then we laugh and laugh & post finger puppets on tumblr.
Thank you.
Thank you all for all the birthday messages yesterday. I’m still in bed fighting the flu like I have been for the last week .. but all your kindness yesterday made the day a little easier to manage. Hopefully soon I won’t feel like I’m on my deathbed & can come play again.
Miss you all. And thank you again for all the kind words & thoughts yesterday. It meant the world to me.
(Source: midengineoffroad)
Thank you all for the kik messages & confirming your craziness. Imma have to charge my phone now & take this bed head to bed.
Smooches
I hate how often you have to dust shit
I moved here last March & it’s almost time to dust again.
Why you don’t want kids.
Imagine it’s Friday, there’s no school, your caught up on your work, & after a long hard week you can finally sleep in a little.
Then beside your bed at 5:30am you hear your little angel
“Good morning Mommy!” he’ll say in a voice that sounds like he’s just home from an all night bender.
You muffle something that resembles good morning. And for a moment as he crawls in bed asking for cartoons you think … just maybe. Maybe he’ll lay here quietly & watch tv & you can go back to bed for a bit. He does! For like ten minutes .. just long enough to give you hope. Then it starts.
“Mommy, I’m hungry.”
“Well go get breakfast.”
“We don’t have breakfast.”
“Yes, we do. Go get some cereal.”
I don’t want cereal.”
“Go get pop tarts.”
“I DON’T WANT POP TARTS!”
“Okay Tyler. Well go find something. There’s waffles, muffins, honey buns.”
“NO, I WANT DOUGHNUTS!”
You know he doesn’t just want any fucking doughnuts. No. The doughnuts he wants are across town, some thirty minutes away. You strap on your negotiating hat & try to get this child of yours to be rational. You try for a half hour .. but you’ll lose because there’s no rationalizing with a fucking toddler.
So at 6am you crawl outta bed. Completely disgusted but holding it together. You get dressed, get him dressed, walk the fucking dog & get in the car. An hour later you get home. Throw the golden doughnuts on a plate .. he takes one bite & then announces “I’m full.”
And you want to hit him .. but you can’t. So instead you sit down & try to explain to this ungrateful asshole that this is breakfast & he’s going to eat it. But he doesn’t care.
So now .. you can’t yell. You can’t swing. You can’t tell him what a dick he’s being. So instead you get on tumblr to blog about it and remind all of you without children to take your goddamn birth control pill.